I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
