lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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