it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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