the new term for farting is butt boxing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We are all done wearing pants today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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