I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
