super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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