Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
