i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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