His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
