Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
