I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you guys were way drunker than both of me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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