Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
