Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish I could punch you in the face.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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