who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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