My boss' voice literally gives me gas
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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