i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A bitchslap is in order.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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