Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
