he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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