i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
