Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
