I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
