I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
