I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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