fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love you. Go after that dick
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
