if you like me you must not know who I am
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
