ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
