I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
