Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Randomize