Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
