me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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