I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
