that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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