i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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