STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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