If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
