dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
