Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
