I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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