I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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