On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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