did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
