sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
