As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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