dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
