she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
