I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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