Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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