Where is the hickey?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
