my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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