You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
