yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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