sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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