Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
