I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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