Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
